The Juggling Act No One Prepared Us For

An honest letter to women who built their lives and are now wondering what comes next!

Getting older is a strange mix of bitter and sweet.

There’s wisdom now. Confidence. Skill. You know your craft. You’ve lived enough life to trust yourself. You’ve earned your value through experience, mistakes, resilience, and showing up when it mattered.

But there’s another side of aging that no one really prepares us for. When we live in a world that glorifies fast, easy, and cheap, those of us who took the long road… education, health, discipline, delayed gratification… can find ourselves quietly questioning everything.

Did I choose the hard path when I didn’t have to? Should I have gone to more parties? Relaxed a little more? Built deeper friendships instead of another certification? Stayed home more?

I don’t regret my choices, but I feel their weight now. And lately, that weight shows up as anxiousness in my gut when I think about my kids getting older. I blinked… and they’re grown. I should have savored more moments. How did they pass so quickly? 

People told me it goes by fast. Every parent hears that. But no one can truly explain how fast until you’re standing there one day, realizing the season you built your entire life around is already shifting.

I poured everything into my kids and my career. And I don’t say that with regret, I say it with honesty. At the time, it felt like the right choice. The responsible choice. The loving choice. Education first. Then health. Naturally, career followed. Then I straightened up my finances. And finally, kids.

One thing led to another. But somewhere along the way, something quietly slipped out of my hands. Yep, the friends. The social life. The effortless “let’s just hang out” energy. It didn’t disappear overnight. It slowly faded. Busy schedules. Tight finances. Competing priorities. You pick and choose. You always pick and choose.

And here’s the truth no one tells women… especially working moms:

You can build your life in your 20s and 30s, and what you pour into absolutely shows up in your 40s and 50s. But you cannot have everything at the same time. Not the way we were sold the dream.

We don’t get peak health, thriving careers, present parenting, deep friendships, spiritual fulfillment, and financial abundance all at once (if you have the golden ticket to achieving all of this at once, please let me know). Usually, we’re juggling two of these categories at the same time. Sometimes we can juggle three if we’re focused and supported.

I say this as someone who genuinely believes we can have it all, just not all at the same moment. And with age comes wisdom and humility, to admit that something always gives.

Maybe for you, it was your health.

Maybe it was your marriage.

Maybe it was your finances.

Maybe it was time with your kids.

Maybe it was your friendships.

Maybe it was your faith.

It’s always something. We like to tell ourselves we’re balancing it all, but the truth is, we’re juggling. Picture your life as a set of balls in the air:

The spiritual ball

The education ball

The career ball

The health ball

The family/kids ball

The friend/social ball

The financial ball

Now think back to different seasons of your life.

I guarantee that, depending on the stage you were in, you were only truly juggling two or three balls at once. Sure, you may have tried to throw up a fourth, but something else inevitably dropped. And here’s the part we need to normalize: That wasn’t failure. That wasn’t selfishness. That was survival.

Each ball matters. But we live in a society that makes us feel like everyone else is juggling six or seven flawlessly, and that’s simply not true. We’re seeing snapshots of balls mid-air, not what’s lying on the floor. The nervous system was never designed to juggle that much. And yet, we were never taught how to choose, how to cycle, how to rest, or how to grieve the balls we temporarily set down. 

Here’s where it gets tender…

There comes a season (often in our 40s and 50s) when the kids’ ball changes shape. They don’t need you in the same way. College, trade school, independence… It’s coming fast.

Meanwhile, maybe your career is solid. Your finances are steadier. Your health is mostly intact or not, and…

Suddenly… there’s space.

And that space is when I felt it. The uneasiness. The loneliness. The quiet question I didn’t want to ask out loud. Did I miss something? Did I make the right choices? Can you relate? 

To be honest, I deeply love my work. And yes—when the kids leave, I’ll technically have more time for it. But what I’m realizing is this: I don’t want more work. I want more connection. The friend/social ball is the one that’s been missing for a long time, and I didn’t notice it slipping away as I built my education, built my career, and raised my family. 

And that’s the hardest ball to pick back up, because it requires someone else to meet you there. To juggle with you. To commit time, energy, and presence to. That vulnerability can feel terrifying at this stage of life. Not to mention, you can feel as if you are the only one. You feel left out, overlooked. You notice other friend groups, yet you’re not included. I share this not just because it is a very real season I have noticed in my life, but because I hear it more and more from the clients I work with. They feel lonely. They feel unsure of what’s next, and the excitement of the unknown is not what it was in their twenties or thirties. This new, unknown midlife feels heavy for them. I mean, this is an era where they have so much confidence and a very good reason to have it, but yet, they are questioning everything! Uhh…

So for me, here I am. Highly skilled. Deeply experienced. A good mom. A healthy woman. A solid career. And yet… I feel the ache. I didn’t keep up with my relationships. I didn’t go on the spring break trips, and to the get-togethers with all the drinking. My path seemed to go as follows…

Early 20s: Education Ball + Saving Financially and investing

Late 20s: Career + Kids + Saving finacially

Early 30s: Career + Health + Kids (yup, I shot for three, but I feel like I missed a lot with my kids)

Late 30’s: Career + Education (PhD time)

Early 40’s: Kids + getting more health back + Spiritual

Current moment… Realizing over the last 20+ years, my balls were mostly about education, career, kids, health, and being financially responsible. This isn’t bad, and most would say it’s good, but I truly dropped the friend/social ball completely. I know this is normal, but I also realize it is rarely discussed.

If I’m being honest, this ache of dropping that ball can sometimes show up as loneliness. This doesn’t mean my life is empty; it means a new part of me is waking up. 

Maybe for you, it’s not the social ball. Maybe it’s your health. Maybe it’s your identity beyond motherhood. Maybe it’s your spiritual connection.

Whatever ball dropped, it can feel isolating when you finally notice it. It can also feel like an uphill battle, with no idea where to start. And if that’s you, I want you to hear this clearly: You are not behind. You are not broken. You did not do life wrong. You are suddenly aware that you dropped something.

First, we have to tell the truth. To ourselves. And to each other.

Second, we can stop pretending we’re supposed to juggle everything perfectly.

Third, we get to gently choose one ball to bring back into play.

Not all of them. Not at once. Just one. One walk. One coffee date.  One class. One intentional hour for your body. One space where you don’t have to hold it all together.

And finally, we get to stop trying to do this alone. This is exactly why Happy Whole You™ (my wellness company) exists. Not to fix you. Not to add more to your plate. But to support you in this season, the season where the juggling act changes. Where your nervous system needs recalibration, and our perspective is due for an intentional upgrade, genuinely supported. 

At Happy Whole You™, we don’t just focus on physical health. We work with your nervous system, emotional health, identity shifts, and life transitions, because this phase of life isn’t about doing more, it’s about recalibrating.

Whether you’re craving:

Or simply a place where you don’t have to explain why you feel the way you do

Better emotional regulation

Support through motherhood transitions

Reconnection with yourself and others

A space to be seen, heard, and supported

You don’t have to navigate this alone.

✨ Your next step is simple:

Pause. Take inventory of your balls. Choose one that’s been missing. And reach out. This season isn’t about starting over. It’s about starting again—with wisdom, compassion, and support. And if you’re ready to do that, I’m here and so is Happy Whole You™. Welcome to 2026! Let’s make it the year where no ball was left behind!

💛Dr. Anna Marie 

Ps. I am taking on new 1-on-1 clients for my Quantum Body Energy Coaching! Are you ready?