A few months ago, I was driving in my car when a feeling of loneliness washed over me. It wasn’t dramatic. Nothing bad had happened. Nobody had upset me. In fact, life was going pretty well.
The business was going well. I had speaking engagements on the calendar. Clients were getting great results. My family was doing well. From the outside, there wasn’t an obvious reason for me to feel lonely. But there it was.
As someone who spends a lot of time teaching people to listen to their bodies, I recognized what was happening. My nervous system was giving me information. And it hit me, “You need to make more time for friendships.”
Not networking. Not business relationships. Friendships. The kind where nobody cares how many followers you have, how much money you make, or what title is on your business card. The kind where you can simply show up as yourself and have zero expectations, pjs, chill time, and a good walk, maybe the only things needed. I remember having that realization very clearly.
And …Then I did what a lot of high achievers do. I got busy. I went back to work, back to the emails, back to the projects, back to the responsibilities, and back to helping everyone else. The feeling eventually faded, and I moved on. A few weeks later, I was lying in bed when that same feeling came back.
This time, I couldn’t ignore it. It made me wonder how many other successful people are walking around carrying the exact same feeling. Everything is good, but there is a longing for connection.
I work with high performers every day, business owners, executives, educators, leaders, parents, and people who have accomplished incredible things. Many of them tell me some version of the same story.
They feel disconnected. Not necessarily from their spouse or their family, but disconnected from themselves. Disconnected from joy. Disconnected from the kinds of relationships that make life feel rich and meaningful.
What I’ve noticed is that many successful people spend years becoming experts in achievement. We learn how to perform, produce, solve problems, and take care of everyone around us. We become the dependable one, the strong one, the capable one, and the person everyone calls when something needs to get done.
Those are wonderful qualities. But somewhere along the way, many of us stop investing in friendship the way we invest in everything else. Nobody teaches us that relationships require intention, too.
You don’t accidentally build a thriving business. You don’t accidentally get healthy. You don’t accidentally become successful. And you don’t accidentally create meaningful friendships either.
The older I get, the more I realize that connection deserves a place on the calendar just like everything else that matters. One of the things I love about my work is helping people pay attention to what their mind and body are trying to communicate. Many times we think something is wrong with us when really we’re just receiving information.
When people come into my office feeling stuck, exhausted, anxious, or unfulfilled, I often find myself asking questions that have nothing to do with supplements, nutrition, or health protocols. Who do you spend time with? Who do you laugh with? Who really knows what’s going on in your life? Who do you call when you’re having a hard day? Sometimes the answers surprise people.
I’ve seen incredibly successful individuals realize they have built an amazing career, but have very few people they feel deeply connected to. I’ve seen people who spend all day helping others admit that they don’t know how to ask for support themselves. I’ve seen people surrounded by coworkers, clients, and acquaintances realize they haven’t had a meaningful conversation in weeks.
Connection matters more than we often acknowledge. Not because it’s a nice idea, but because we’re human. We’re wired for community. We’re wired to be seen. We’re wired to belong. For me, the loneliness I felt wasn’t a sign that my life was falling apart. It was feedback, a reminder that there was an area of my life that needed attention.
So I’ve started making different choices. I’ve reached out to people I care about. I’ve said yes to coffee meetings that weren’t about business. I’ve made more room for conversations that don’t have an agenda attached to them. Nothing revolutionary. Just intentional. And honestly, it’s helped.
If you’ve been feeling lonely lately, especially if you’re someone who is successful on paper, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Sometimes the next level of growth isn’t another accomplishment. Sometimes it’s picking up the phone. Sometimes it’s making time for dinner with a friend. Sometimes it’s allowing yourself to be known beyond what you do for a living.
I think many of us have spent years building successful lives. Maybe this season is about building connected ones, too.
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